The foundation of a strong relationship is trust, and if that trust has been shattered by an affair or a betrayal, or even just the hint that something might not be quite right in some instances, that partnership can sometimes no longer be salvaged. For some, a relationship is finished as soon as trust is lost; it’s that easy.
On the other hand, others will wish to re-establish that confidence and trust. In the beginning, there will be a lot of uncertainty about what their partner says and does, which may make it tough to move forward. However, in some cases, it is the best thing that you can do. If you feel that you have lost trust in your relationship and it’s getting hard to regain it, here are some tips to help you repair what you had. It won’t be easy, and it may not work out, but if you feel it’s worth a try, read on.
Mean What You Say, Say What You Mean
It just takes a split second to shake someone’s faith in you. It is very difficult for a partner to trust a person if they discover that they are having (or had) a sexual relationship with someone else or have lied about their past, if they have served time in prison, if they have an addiction like drink or gambling, and many other things.
Rebuilding trust can be made easier by saying what you mean and meaning what you say at all times. The more you can ensure this happens, the more trustworthy you will seem to the person you are speaking with; they will see that you are keeping your end of the bargain and not faking it. It’s going to be difficult, but it’s a fantastic starting point for repairing a shattered friendship.
Vulnerability Can Be A Virtue
To re-establish trust in a relationship, you need to allow yourself to be vulnerable and offer yourself up to your spouse, even if it is painful. This is a huge step forward if you’ve been a secretive person in the past since they will realize that you are eager to tell them everything and genuinely let them into your life.
This could include letting someone into areas of your life that you like to keep private, and only you can determine whether you can be completely honest with them. However, the simpler it will be to go ahead after that point, the more you are able to express and accept. It might even be that they can help you with your problems – they could talk things through and work on the issues in your relationship, they could suggest addiction treatment if you have a drug or substance problem, they could share the burden if the issue is health or finances. Talking about problems can help hugely, and if these secrets have been causing problems in your relationship, it’s certainly time to get them out in the open.
Remember To Treat Others With Respect
You may be humiliated because of something you’ve done that you wish had never occurred. Your relationship is in jeopardy now that the truth is out. This is a critical time in the relationship when you must remember to show your partner respect in order to restore confidence. Space and time may be necessary for them. Their emotions could range from rage and hurt to disappointment and disillusion. Despite the fact that you’ve made plans together, they may not want to carry them through, such as your wedding, a trip, or a future together in general.
Respect what they have to say and how they feel, and the best thing to do if they ask you to take a break is to comply. The less they want to hear what you have to say, the more you’ll have to urge them to listen, and this can cause many more arguments and problems than it solves. Give them the time they need; respect their journey and wait for them to be ready. Then you can sit down and figure out the next steps together.
Release The Anger
Even seemingly little betrayals of trust can have detrimental effects on someone’s mental, emotional, and physical well-being. A lack of sleep or a decrease in appetite might be signs of a problem. They might well be easily irritated or triggerable, even over trivial matters.
In spite of the temptation to bury your emotions, it is critical for betrayed partners to tune in and think about all of the feelings they experience. Consider the effects on you and others around you of your partner’s betrayal, and allow yourself to feel what you need to feel. Bottling everything up will lead to more anger and no solutions.