“Always remember that someone’s effort is a reflection of their interest in you.” -Anonymous
Do you find it difficult to decipher when someone is disinterested in being with you, or you are the replica of the above quote – wise in judgment and able to weigh the measure of another’s effort? Whatever the case may be, at some point in your life, even now, you may be unclear as to the level of interest your partner or potential partner has in you. Often these red flags are glaring, but you tend to ignore, in the “hope” that “just maybe” you may be wrong. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with you if you are at this phase of your life. You are probably reading this because you are in dire need of some clarity. May you find the clarity that you seek after reading this entire article.
The Red Flags
1. Listen to your gut
Research has proven that more than 50 percent of the time, our senses are receptors of things that transcend the literal. In this case, most often than not, we sense how detrimental a relationship can be for us as pointed out in this article, but we choose to ignore this feeling in the hope that we may be wrong. There is a culmination of signs that can nudge your gut to alert “danger zone,” be attentive enough to pick up those signals.
2. The weight of the relationship is on an uneven divide
By this, we mean those times you had to keep in touch even more than your partner. The calls or texts are seldom while you struggle to fill in the lapses. In a situation like this, you need to listen to that loud silence.
3. You never feel like you’re a priority
There is always something else or someone else whose needs have to be attended before yours. You always feel like an option to them. Plus, you can always tell when they reach out to you; it’s almost like you were the last resort. If you can see this red flag, take the door respectfully.
4. They are impolite and disrespectful
This is evident in how they talk to you and treat you in front of their friends or colleagues. They never introduce you to those that matter in their lives. Blunt remarks laced with sarcasm towards you are the most conversation they mutter. This is a big fail in any relationship. Why be with someone who claims to be interested in you but goes out of the way to belittle your person?
5. They never commit
Someone who isn’t into you will love to go with the flow. They do not commit in any way or form. Whatever that rings commitment has them touching their heels.
6. They thrive in conflict
This is very common. You are used to getting the blame now and then. There is always something you did wrongly. They are mostly vague in pointing out a solution to what the matter is but will amplify it in hopes that you may read the signs on the wall.
7. They never let go
People who aren’t interested in you find it difficult to let go. They seem to enjoy the thrill of the chase. When you attempt to move on, they come hurrying back in the guise of doing better. Unbeknownst to you, they are ensuring that their pitched tent is still erect in your life. Still, when you reciprocate, they leave even faster than they came in. Beware of partners like this.
8. They are always in some entanglement
Another way to pick a hint of disinterest is when a person always has some ties with exes from the past. They either have an obsessed ex stalking them or a divorce that is forever ongoing and all sorts of issues. Steer clear from anyone who isn’t succinct about their intention to be with you. They may carry you on, only enough to dump you when their point of interest gives them access.
9. They are self-centered
You can see the planets, including the earth, even the sun, orbiting around them. It is always about them. They never think of how to proactively please you. Worse still, when there’s a misunderstanding, they make it about you and are as blameless as a dove.
10. They are manipulative
When you meet a person who manipulates you, the tendency that they can be jealous and controlling isn’t far-fetched. It mostly comes branded with them and a ribbon on it. They will gaslight you into seeing yourself as lesser than you are and find even means to be condescending.
If you are at the preliminary stage of a relationship with a person that fits the description, you are lucky to be reading this now. If you are at an advanced level in a relationship with someone who juggles all of the above, you are blessed to be reading, and we trust that you will do the needful.